CINDERELLA
Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her
wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella
sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother
appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with
everything she needs to go to the ball, but only
on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees.
"What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your
diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m.
The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella
doesn't show up.
Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking
love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother.
"Your diaphragm was supposed to have turn into a
pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of
everything."
"I know of no prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!"
"I can't remember, exactly ...Peter Peter,
something or other...."
PINOCCHIO
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would
sometimes complain About splinters when
they were having sex.
Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to
see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a
little sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio
skipped away enlightened.
A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio
bouncing happily through town and asked him,
"How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
RED RIDING HOOD
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the
woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out
from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached
into her picnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum
and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not!
You're going to eat me, just like it says in the
book!"
MICKEY MOUSE
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce
court And the judge said to Mickey, "You say here
that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I
said she's fucking Goofy."
SNOW WHITE
Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the
woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat
on his back, and then sat on his face screaming,
"Lie to me! Lie to me!"
That's All Folks !
