Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loves to charge around the
nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on
the long corridors.
Because she and her fellow residents are one sandwich short of a picnic, they
all tolerate each other, some of the males actually join in.
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Mad Mike
stepped out of his room with his arm outstretched, "STOP!" he said in a firm
voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?"
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held
it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird William popped
out in front of her and shouted, "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?"
Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer mat and held it up to him.
William nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am."
As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Bonkers Brian
stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizable (for his age)
erection in his hand. "Oh, no!" said Ethel, "Not the breathalyzer again!"
"President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad
movie.' Well sure, there's a Bush in the White House, the economy's going
to hell, we're going to war over oil. I've seen this movie, haven't I?" --
Jay Leno
"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to
wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the
American voters to become president, either." -- David Letterman
"In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam
Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies,
housing, education - anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He
finally comes up with a domestic agenda - and it's for Iraq. Maybe we
could bring that here if it works out." -- Jay Leno
