"President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that
democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have
a good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting. Iraq?
We can't even get this in Florida." -- Jay Leno
"Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a
1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey,
look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'" -- Craig Kilborn
"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass
destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq.
There's just one problem -- it's in North Korea." -- Jon Stewart
"War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom. They
were going to call it Operation Iraqi Liberation until they realized that
spells 'OIL.'" -- Jay Leno
"CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three
parts ... regular, premium and unleaded." -- Jay Leno
"Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the weekend.
See, President Bush may be the smartest military president in history.
First, he gets Iraq to destroy all of their own weapons. Then he declares
war." -- Jay Leno
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " -- Frank Sinatra
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time
with his fools." -- Ernest Hemingway
"Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there be one,
he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded
fear." -Thomas Jefferson
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with
sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. " -Galileo
